domingo, 9 de junio de 2019
1585 days ago I decided to start a therapy and 39 days ago I decided to be happy. It took me fucking 1546 days to decide to be happy LOL!
I can't even count all the times in that period that I thought life was pointless. On the other hand, I can't count the number of times that I felt like it didn't need to be meaningful to be worth living.
But now.. now it's been 39 days without even thinking about pictures, without opening this file where I write down and order my thoughts. Without getting to a transcendental conclusion and sharing it. Without feeling guilty about it. 39 days of living and loving and feeling and sensing and being myself. Without needing anyone, pushing anything, or wishing things were different.
Without wishing it was a round number instead of 39! Hi there, obsessive personality, I see you. You are cute sometimes but not in control anymore. Thanks for letting me pilot the ship.
I've been investing so much time and energy getting ready for this, and now it seems so easy. Happiness seems easy I mean.